as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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