Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize