Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
