What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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