i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
