Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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