So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
