The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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