the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
