so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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