i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
