i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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