But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
