I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize