okay pat passed out under dana's car
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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