okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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