Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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