OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize