thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
