I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
