I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
