He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
