Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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