you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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