Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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