i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
