dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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