In the future we'll all be gay
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
