I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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