I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
she looked like the before picture.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
