Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.

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(520): View more from Arizona

The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car

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(256): View more from Alabama

I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.

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(904): View more from Florida

Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.

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(719): View more from Colorado

id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...

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(307): View more from Wyoming

there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself

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