I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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