Sponge bath it is.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
