summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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