I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
