PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
