Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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