I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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