i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
