She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
try to milk me bitch
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
