: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
