i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
