For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
