The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i think my mom watched the whole time
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
