Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
