remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
