Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
