You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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