Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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