she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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