I can't breathe out the right side of my face
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
