so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
