I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
