She is in my trunk
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
