Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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