im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
