So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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