Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
