When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize