He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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