Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
