you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
