Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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